By Mule Shechter
Taiereh Nosson ahhh Nosson, Or as we (used to) call you Natushkeh.
It's as I sit here in the airport. Waiting for my flight at the gate, after walking through check in and then security, all along putting on a brave show, replying to all the airport workers that ask how is your day sir. Oh good and yours?...
I sit here embarrassed of those who might have noticed that I’m crying. With my head buried in my knees not wanting to pick it up but it keeps reentering my mind. How you would behave in such a situation. You would be lively you would be running around and making people crazy to put on tefilin as you did best. I keep saying to myself what you would want me to do in such a situation, I want to do the same. And I promised myself time after time again already that I will do it for you. But I CAN'T I just CAN NOT behave as you would.
Ur sitting up there and u see me suffering. Please please be mechazek me. You have the power to.
Tell me what I could do for you. Tell me, Just tell me. I'll do it.
Nothing is going to be a comfort. NOTHING will be a compensation for you.
The only answer is. To see you back here physicaly NOW. U tested us. It's been four loooong never ending days already. And you see that I'm not passing the test as you would want me to so just quit the test and cone back.
Nosson noteh. COME BACK ALREADY, COME YOU CANT CONTINUE THIS.
I continuously hear your voice in my head and I even know what your saying. But it's just not there